


rest your weary head

by stardustspeedway



Series: insomnia [1]
Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Mild Gore, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 08:19:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14131989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustspeedway/pseuds/stardustspeedway
Summary: No matter how many years pass, the nightmares are the same.





	rest your weary head

**Author's Note:**

> Please help me I can`t stop dying over LuciSan but also LucioSan it`s been an entire month and the pain won`t stop. 
> 
> This is the first work I`ve done in a year and the first Long work I`ve done so I hope you enjoy! Thank you to everyone who cheered me on through this and my GBF crew that jailed me until I finished the bulk of it. I always love sharing what music coloured my writing, and for this it was opium and bathtub mermaid by Mili, and majiko`s cover of kokoronashi.

The light of the examination room was dull, save for a single halo that shone above his naked body. Sandalphon wrenched his eyes shut at the fresh sensation of the scalpel that relentlessly cut through him, slicing his muscle like fragile threads. The pain was a visceral burning red, yet it always left him at an alarmingly fast rate. 

_Yes_ , he was quite pleased by that. A chilling smile crept over that man`s face only during this time, only as he cut deeper into Sandalphon, exploring his insides intimately. There were always softly murmured promises that it wouldn`t hurt, the drugs would take effect soon enough, but the only repreve he felt was like sinking into a deep fog, as though he were dreaming. Yes, it hardly could be reality, only in a dream could he feel nothing but pain, scraping inside of his lungs, delicate fingers curled around his heart.

It had to be a dream; whenever he woke up, every sensation was gone. No scars left behind, not a single spot of blood to be found.

Today was a bit different, however. Lucilius promised him they would be alone during these experiments, but an angry voice cut through his fog.  Sandalphon was usually too far gone to make out whatever the voices said to him, but the mere notion of _his_ being there was enough for him to fight for clarity.

_“...don`t understand why you instructed me to make him like this...”_  
  
_Lucifer-sama?_  
Sandalphon made a feeble attempt to speak his name, but nothing came out.  
  
_“...hardly mind examining him myself. Now, leave…”_  
  
It was too much to even try, and Sandalphon let his eyes droop, heavier and heavier, slowly growing numb to the sawing at his veins until everything went black.

When he came to, he was back in his bed. As if the whole ordeal was just a small, momentary nightmare, the real day was only yet to come. Sandalphon pulled back the sleeve of his plain white pajamas to find no proof of any experimentation. His skin was beautifully pristine, but a feeling of dread welled up from the pit of his stomach, as though he had swallowed the darkness itself. There was always an astringent air of cleanliness in the lab that became a specter hanging over his body in the dark of night, and it did no part to ease the nausea. It felt like his organs had been emptied from his body and reassembled into entirely different locations, a pulse in his stomach as though it were a heartbeat. No, that's impossible...wasn`t it? But their master, his master, Lucilius, was a genius after all. There was no telling what he had done to his body - that is, if it wasn’t a dream. 

Waves of paranoia crept down his spine like lightning, the floor had been pulled from underneath him, he couldn`t feel his heart beating, a scar could be seen from the corner of his eye--

_No!_  
  
Sandalphon cursed aloud, hurriedly pulling his sleeve down and bringing the covers over his head to protect himself from his own thoughts. If he couldn`t see, he wouldn`t think, his lips forming a silent prayer instead, begging for the pain to stop. But whenever he closed his eyes, all he could see was the cold, unreadable expression of the scientist looming over him, drawing closer, his hands stained with Sandalphon`s blood.

Lucifer was startled by the sound of a scream.

He wasn`t supposed to be here today, but something he couldn`t quite put his finger on drew him towards the lab. He was quite disappointed that his dear friend had holed himself in his examination room yet again, for there were always important questions to be asked. Lucifer had come over uninvited, so he expected to be met with anger, but felt his own displeasure at the sight before him. 

His lovely creation obediently made under Lucilius` instructions, a beautiful body, torn open with his insides on display.

He agreed to keep his distance. There was no use for him to meddle, but his chest tightened with vexation. Lucifer wished to see Sandalphon.  
Well, he certainly had a reason now, didn`t he? This would not veto his impartiality. Sandalphon needed him, not the other way around.

That`s what he always told himself.

Sandalphon was kept further away from the others, but he never once complained about this when he was alone with Lucifer. In fact, he never complained at all in his presence, and so Lucifer believed him to be nothing but happy, content. To see such a horrific expression, so different from his usual smile, pierced through his heart. He didn`t notice Lucifer was even there, lost to the throes of pain as his body spasmed involuntarily.  
  
Obedient. Silent. Fair.

Lucifer would never speak, never act against his master, and yet--

“Sandalphon?”  
  
A soft whisper stilled him. He had been enveloped completely in warmth. Those familiar, radiant wings wrapped around him and shielded him from the darkness.  
  
“Lucifer...sama?” His voice was weak and quiet, as though he`d been screaming himself raw. Sandalphon let go, but was only brought closer in response, causing him to look down in shame.

“Are you alright?”

“I...it was just a bad dream.” He muttered into Lucifer`s shoulder, followed by an uncertain _I think_. Try as he might to pull away - he didn`t deserve to be so close, after all - there was no strength left in his body after Lucilius had his way with him. Be it dream or reality, he was spent, a sack of bones left to the mercy of the supreme primarch, who lifted him back into his bed with great care before laying down beside him 

If his heart moved to his stomach or was still in his chest, either way, it had definitely stopped beating now.

“Can you sleep?” His smooth, deep voice was barely above a whisper, but Sandalphon felt it resound inside of him. He swallowed thickly before nodding once, slowly.

“I`ll try.”

Lucifer chuckled, and Sandalphon`s stomach swam back to it`s rightful place.  
“You need not try. Just close your eyes, and breathe.”

He allowed himself this, indulging in the silent agreement between them. What was that? Was it...trust?

It was strange, but he could get used to it.

Two strong, steady hands at the small of his back. A soothing heartbeat against his cheek, a heady glow pooling inside him that conquered the blanket of darkness permeating the lab. His pulse slowed, allowing his eyes to close and accept the sweet siren song of sleep.  
  
“You won`t leave, will you?”

Unguarded, the words tumbled out of Sandalphon in a sleepy murmur. He immediately wanted to take the words back, but the heavy daze of sleep prevented him from hiding his true feelings. That, and the fact he was answered, without even a moment of hesitation.  
  
“I won`t leave.”  
  
_Really? Is that true?_  
  
“...I`m glad.” 

Sandalphon began to drift as the same haze covered him once more, unsure if he was dreaming, or if this was reality. He truly hoped it was the latter as he heard a faint hum. Was Lucifer...singing? It was such a quiet melody, although he couldn`t make out a word. There was a strange sense of familiarity, as though he knew what note would come next, maybe even the next word. Unconsciously, Sandalphon began to hum as well, their voices a perfect harmony that soothed him into a deep sleep.

How many minutes, how many hours passed?  
His sweet song stopped as soon as it began.

He felt something warm and wet on the crown of his head. Was Lucifer...crying?

“Lucifer-sama, I--”

He pulled away, eager to search for an answer in those clear eyes, as blue as the sky.

Bright red drops trickled down his torso, staining Sandalphon`s cheek as red as his eyes.

Lucifer couldn`t respond, for there was nothing but a pool of blood left where his head should have been.  
  


* * *

  
Lucio was startled by the sound of a scream.

He wasn`t supposed to be here today, but something he couldn`t quite put his finger on drew him towards the Grandcypher. He was quite disappointed that his friend (well, perhaps it was one sided) had holed himself in his room yet again, for he always wanted to talk to him, perhaps ease the furrow in his brow just a little. Lucio always came over uninvited, so he expected to be met with anger, but felt his own displeasure at the sight before him.

He agreed to keep his distance. There was no use for him to meddle, but his chest tightened with vexation. Lucio wished to see Sandalphon.  
Well, he certainly had a reason now, didn`t he? This would not veto his impartiality. Sandalphon needed him, not the other way around.

Sandalphon kept himself far away from the others, but he never once complained about this when he was alone with Lucio. Rather, he complained about _everything_ else in the rare moments they were together, and so Lucio believed him to be nothing but angry, troubled. To see his face twisted in pain even in moments he should be at rest pierced through his heart. He didn`t notice Lucio was even there, lost to the throes of pain as his body spasmed involuntarily.

Ambiguous. Silent. Agreeable.

Lucio would never speak, never act against his master, and yet--  
  
“Sandalphon?”  

His body stilled before Lucio could even touch him. The air escaped from his lungs, red eyes staring vacantly at the ceiling.

_Right, this was the present._

_This was reality._

He was no stranger to this ritual. Each time he opened his eyes, the wound reopened, a gaping chasm that ached with every breath.  
Which was worse? The endless layers of nightmares that he swam through, trying to break through to the surface, or every waking hour with nothing but the warmth inside of his soul, all that was left of Lucifer.

And _him_. Lucio was the intruder, interrupting him from licking his wounds. He had the audacity to show his face, a face that wasn`t even his, around the ship.  
  
“Get out.”  
  
Lucio`s lips pursed in anger as Sandalphon pushed him away from his bed. He wouldn`t be deterred just because this so called “hero” tried to rescue him.

“You`re the last person I want to see right now.”  
  
_“Sandalphon.”_

He flinched. Sandalphon wasn`t used to hearing that voice sounding so angry, he felt startled. His instinct was to obey, as he always had, but like a petulant child, he avoided Lucio`s gaze. He feared what he would see, and rightly so. Lucio was a vibrant rainbow of expressions in contrast to Lucifer`s serene blue sky.

Curiosity won out in the end, as well as the constant need to argue, but his spiteful words died in his throat. What he saw frightened him indeed. Those kind eyes narrowed, looking right through him, his toes curling with fear. He expected a slap or something similarly angry to follow, raising an arm to cover himself, only to feel the warmth of a soft hand gently clasping his own.

“Please, I implore you to listen to me. It pains me to hear you like this.”

“It`s none of your business.” He spat back defiantly. _Stop sticking your nose where you`re not wanted, leave me alone_ , he wanted to fill him with venom, but the last time he said such horrible things, that person truly did leave for good after all.  

“You have no idea what I`m going through.”  
  
“What if I told you that I do? I doubt you would believe me.”

He felt a shiver down his spine from the implication. This man of mystery, causing more questions than answers, only made the pit in his stomach deepen. His hand slowly traveled up Sandalphon`s arm, ghosting against his cheek (did he lean in to that warmth, wishing for more?) before settling on the crown of his head. Lucio sighed, wincing as though his hair was scalding.

“There`s so much pain here.”  
  
Sandalphon was stilled by the softness in his voice, the same voice that was so deep, so furious only moments ago. He felt his hands shake slightly, so unused to Lucifer`s voice resounding with such deep emotion.  
  
“You don`t hide your hatred for me Sandalphon. I can`t blame you. After all, there`s so much I wish I could tell you.”  
  
_Then why don`t you?_  
  
“But for now, please trust me. If you would allow me, I can help you.”

He could hardly suppress a scoff. This man spoke with as much assurance of his words as Lucifer did, but unlike Lucifer, Sandalphon was unafraid of telling him exactly what was on his mind.  
  
“Why would you even want to? You don`t even know the first thing about me.”

“Do you truly think that I need a reason?”

_Yes_ , he wanted to answer. There`s always a reason, he learned that firsthand from Lucilius. There was always a reason, and if you couldn`t see it, it was maliciously veiled. Soon enough, those ulterior motives would catch you when you least expected it, and stab you right through the heart.

And then, you would never be able to have those happy days back, no matter how much you yearned. How much you wished to escape, even if only in your dreams, only to see it all fall apart in front of your eyes again and again.

He wished to say all of this, but he had neither the words nor the energy anymore. Sandalphon was tired. So, so tired. Couldn`t he just give up already? He had a promise to keep, but oh, _Lucifer-sama, when I close my eyes, can`t I just see you smile again?_  
  
Sandalphon closed his eyes as he felt the strength drain from his body, unable to hold himself up any longer. Like he was falling towards his doom once more, perhaps if he could give up hard enough, he would fall through the bed, through the floor, through the sky again.

A strong arm caught him before he could hit the bed, slowly guiding his weak body to an unusually armorless chest. A heartbeat, he didn`t expect that, but it was steady. Comforting.  
As fatigue vainly attempted to claim Sandalphon, he struggled to push the images from his mind, but the shadowy claws of his nightmare ceaselessly ripped into the back of his eyelids. He tried to push himself away from Lucio, attempting to untangle their intimate embrace.

A palm suddenly pressed against Sandalphon`s forehead, and a cool wave of ice embraced his body from head to toe.

What

had he been thinking of?

What

was he dreaming of?

_Who_

was he dreaming of?

 

Oh, of course. It was Lucifer-sama. How could he forget?  
  
The distant memories of passing their days leisurely in the garden, a soft hand grasping his own. The scent of coffee, the warmth that surpassed even sunlight. There they were once more, talking as though nothing had happened. 

_Yes, it was all just a bad dream,_ the blurry image of his beloved seemed to say. And Sandalphon laughed, listening to the soft melody that Lucifer used to sing him to sleep. 

As he finally succumbed, the last thing Sandalphon saw was the face of that mysterious man. Lucio`s eyes seemed far away, like he was focusing on something. Never once moving his hand, his breath was ever so slightly labored, yet he still continued to hum that soft song he heard in the dream.

After all, Lucio had witnessed them firsthand. His power allowed him to see the dark images that would plague Sandalphon`s mind ran through his own mind, as though he were the one watching his beloved die over and over. Even if Sandalphon would never know what happened that night, he could do this much for him, at least. Lucio couldn`t place exactly why he felt such a tug in his chest, he would rather not think on it for very long. Regardless of what he felt, or not, he would stay awake the whole night through, penning beautiful dreams for the ailing primarch.

If that was what it took for Sandalphon to find peace, he would do anything, and play each and every part in this play for his enjoyment.

Even if he wasn`t the one that Sandalphon wanted.

Sandalphon stirred momentarily, clutching to Lucio`s loose evening wear. He found Lucio`s free hand and grasped it weakly in the throes of his sweeter dreams.

“Please, don`t leave…Lucifer-sama.”

“...I won`t.”


End file.
